controlling Behaviours

I am not very good at writing on this blogg regularly. It's the whole idea of speaking to yourself. It gets a little tedious!!
However if there is anyone who this may benefit I would like to post a reply I gave to an email I recieved from someone who was having trouble controlling their eating habits in a healthy way.

...I have had emotionally empty wells over the years and wanted to fill them with various things. However once you know this and understand it you have control over where you get this fulfillment from. Some people turn to drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping etc and of course the ever so common one - food. It all goes back to those three basic needs of self worth, security and significance. One or more of them is not being fulfilled in your life and so you are trying to fill it up using an illegitimate thing - food - which can never truly do what it is 'promising' to do. God is the only Being able to fulfill your real deep need.
The trouble is - at some level we don't think He can, or don't believe He can or even don't believe He will for us - and so we go elsewhere.
But the truth is He can. I am a testimony to that! And believe me I have plenty of empty wells!! The trick is to go to Him and ask Him to fill them up and then resist any other fake 'offer' of an illegitimate thing believing that He will do it in His good time.

And He doesn't take that long. He does come.

However the temptation continues to come too - the desire to go the wrong way to empty cisterns to fill these real needs - until you have it firmly in your heart that God will come through. Every time the temptation comes God has promised in His word to give a 'way of escape' so that you can bare it and conquer the problem.

It's a fight all the way but God is with us, strengthening us and as we fight we become reliant on Him, our knowledge of His power and greatness and love and mercy and grace grow and we grow up spiritually. We become strong and eventually the thing that tempted us no longer has any power over us. Here the victory is won and Satan will have to try something else to unnerve us because that one no longer works!!!

Getting on the right track is a process but knowledge stops us fooling ourselves and coming up with excuses.

Identify the deep need(s) not being fulfilled and go to God and ask Him to fill them for you. Then next time you are tempted - fight - with a smile on your face knowing that you are the victor because God is on your side and no one, no force is greater!

My book KICK ADDICTION reveals this spiritual journey step by step.

Sitting in the Space

In my book 'Kick Addiction' I titled a chapter 'Sitting in the Space'. I have had more comments about this chapter than any other.

'Sitting in the Space' is that space we often feel after temptation - when we have finally resisted our temptation - and expect, at the very least, some sort of reward even if it is just praise. We want the angels to sing, the violins to play, so we can hear them! And yet what we so often get is - Space. It is a type of the 'Nothingness' I wish to explore. But only a type.

As we continue to 'Sit in the Space' and keep resisting the temptation to walk away, to make something happen, to turn to one of our idols for sad comfort God will eventually, in His time, reveal Himself in a new way.

This process is a surprising gift. It builds our faith, stretches us and forces us to grow toward Him. Ofcourse we can resist and turn away at any time because we always retain our right to use our will as we choose. But if we are a disciple of Jesus Christ, more than simply a believer or even a follower, then we will have given up our right to ourselves and we will persevere. And we will wait in this pregnant space to see what God will do.

Kick Addiction

Perhaps it's time to introduce my books and explain why I wrote them.

Kick Addiction came about after the work I had done with a client who had a severe addiction. Her addictive behaviours had lasted over ten years and they were destroying her life. She had been to psychiatrists, psychologists, counsellors and tried government agencies, but nothing had worked. She rang and asked me if there was any hope. I knew in God there was, and so I said yes. The book is the result of the work we did together over a year. She is now totally free.

I soon realized the insights God gave us that resulted in dramatic changes in her life could be translated into other lives too. Hence the book! We’ve used Kick Addiction now in courses in Auckland for five years and it has changed many more people’s lives. God is so faithful.